Howdy YAL!
I used to be the blogger called YAL Book Briefs, but I grew bored of the handle and changed my name to Howdy YAL. I also respond to MJ. I like to read, write, eat truffles, and watch bad Lifetime movies.
A Review With a Snazzy Chart
The dog has reviewed a truly bad book in the past week, so I am not forcing her to review this subpar excrement but I wish she was.
It blew.
My first DNF of 2016. It might be in part that I’m studying for another bar exam-yes, becuase when you move states your license doesn’t transfer right over. They force you to take another soul eating exam. And the God forsaken state I moved too doesn’t even have the multi-state portion so I can’t use all the mad skills I acquired the last test for them (though to be honest, they weren’t really that great).
Anyway, you’ll probably notice a decrease in posts since I am mostly studying these days save for the time where I sleep and decide to have an hour or two of Me Time that doesn’t involve showering or eating.
You’ll be surprise how very little time that is.
It will only get worse too before the test is over.
Yeah…you probably don’t want me to post that much.
Anyway, talking about Dangerous Lies is sort of difficult. To be frank, I should’ve known better. Fitzpatrick and I don’t mix. And it’s just not that crappy “let’s be nice” chat she had back in the day. It’s the fact that her stuff has this weird misogynic undertones to it.
Yet, somehow I made it through all of the Hush Hush series.
Don’t ask me how.
It was a very painful experience filled with alcohol.
I decide though to spare my liver and skip Black Ice, but Dangerous Lies interested me if anything because it involved witness protection.
And witness protection set books are something I’m always interested in (I blame that USA show In Plain Sight-which was fairly decent for it’s first few season.
If you think about it the subject matter makes perfect sense for a YA book, since it allows a character to really reinvent themselves which is the premises for a lot of those makeover YA books.
Of course, having characters in Witness Protection can make things ore interesting especially if it involves a bad ass marshall who the teen has an inappropriate crush on.
That doesn’t happen here people.
Instead, we get a whiny teen who gets sent to live with this lad who basically could be Kim Davis’s long lost sister in Nebraska where she continues being sanctimonious and self righteous despite you know…not having access to her trust fund.
Oh, wait, we’re told she doesn’t have a trust fund. But her mother is getting a nice chunk of child support, so call her Your Poor Little Miss Upper Middle Class.
Estella was what drove me not finish the book. Well, her and her caretaker who annoyed me.
I kept making a chart which one annoyed me more. In the end, Stella (or Estella) did. But it was really a close call (she toppled Carmela–aka Kim Davis- in the Whiny Bitch Moment Category (don’t worry Carmella, I still hate you).
Estella vs Carmela: A Highly Scientific Chart of Annoyingness
| Name | Imposing Moment on A-Holeness | Self Righteous Fuckery | Whiny Bitch Moment | Dick Move |
| Stella (Estella) | Making ass-sumptions about everyone. Or anytime she breaths. | Mocking a pregnant girl because…she’s pregnant and making assumptions about her sex life. | Whining about how she doesn’t want a job—does anyone really? | Basically stealing Carmela’s car and acting like it was no biggie because she was “borrowing” it. Try telling that to the judge, bitch. |
| Carmina | Forcing Stella to go to church with her. Um, hello, she might not worship your God | Carmela’s reaction to wearing shorts: You’re wearing cut offs. How dare you wear cut offs, you slut. | Not really whiney so much as sanctimonious. Though she does lose it a bit over the car. I give her a pass over that one though. I’d be pissed too. | Telling Stella to get a job after she wakes up traveling half way cross country and forcing to shed her foul identity. True Stella needs to learn responsibility because she is a privileged brat, but she just arrived in Nebraska at least allow her to unpack. |
Highly scientific if I do say so myself.
Really though, there is nothing special about Dangerous Lies. At best it was pretty cliche, I could already see what was coming without finishing the book and I didn’t care to finish it. I could already see that we were going to get the quasi evil city slicker goes to rural America and learns some true life lessons. That Kim Davis’s long lost sister and her church going ways has a heart of gold and is going to cause STEEELLA (sorry, I had to put in one reference to Streetcar Called Desire in here, I mean you just have to with that name) to lose that chip on her shoulder and warm up to the country boy next store. Who is turn is really going to change Stella, but of course she’ll face danger and he’ll rescue her and at the end of the day she’ll stay in nowheresville like they always do in Lifetime movies.
Oh wait, not Lifetime movie, it’s a Fitzpatrick book.
But same difference.
In the end, I couldn’t finish it to see if I’m right. Stella was insufferable and I hated the community she was in-even though I’m pretty sure it was supposed to have the desired effect on her that I described before. Maybe it’s because I currently reside in a small town and can only say it sucks.
I am not learning lessons for the yokels, or want to for that matter. It’s not an idyllic place because not being able to get a Starbucks sucks. Not being able to buy decent produce sucks. And yes, I know this book is fiction and that it’s just a plot point but….grrrr…does it have to be cliche?
Overall Rating: A DNF. Fitzpatrick and I don’t mix, don’t think we ever will. Some might like it though, but there was nothing from the hundred some odd pages I read that really made it that exciting or interesting of a read.
7
1