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HowdyYAL

Howdy YAL!

I used to be the blogger called YAL Book Briefs, but I grew bored of the handle and changed my name to Howdy YAL. I also respond to MJ. I like to read, write, eat truffles, and watch bad Lifetime movies. 

Chosen (House of Night Series #3)

Chosen - Kristin Cast, P.C. Cast To see full review click here.Disclaimer: Obviously, I'm not Zoey Redbird or PC or Kristin Cast (God help me if I was one of them). I am merely using the character to illustrate my deep hatred for these books and why you should get drunk or at least get a sugar high off of them.Hi,This is Zoey Redbird (yes, I know I'm amazing you can like totally stop clapping now).Smiles.I'm upset that people are using my series to get drunk. Seriously, you can't understand how amazing it is. That I am like the super-est of the super. Seriously, Wonder Woman has nothing on me. I am just amazing.How many times do I have to say that?A lot, I guess, since I keep repeating it a lot throughout my novel. Now an evil person would drink a lot to that, but you're not evil right? But if you are let me tell you why you shouldn't drink in my plight to be the bestest of the bestest.Man, in this installment of my series my life really sucks. I have three boyfriends and I complain about it a lot. It's soooooo hard to choose. Let's look at my choices:A) King Douche: Oh, Heath. We've always had this connection. And we're like perfect together because of our past even though he's has about the same IQ as a Labrador Retriever. And really does nothing that's remotely likable. Except, of course, I want his blood.B) Prince Eric: Erik is just amazing. Sure he lacks a personality, but you can always recognize him because of his Superman hair and blue eyes. He's sort of like Prince Eric on The Little Mermaid appearance and all. I think he's so pretty a lot throughout the book. You can just drink at how I'm amazing anytime I describe him.C) Mr. Mary Kay Laterno: Loren, oh Loren, my poetry teacher. He makes me blush whenever he calls me a woman. Yes, I know I'm a girl (you, pervert), but there's just something about the way he looks at me....that makes me...want him. Despite the fact he didn't really pay me the time of day until very recently. Also, so what if he's my teacher and I lose my virginity to him...it's not that big of a deal. We're meant to be. And that night...oh, it was filled of blood and passion (how romantic).Okay, so I know my relationship with Loren is taboo. I know a lot of things that go on in this book could be considered taboo. But that's what makes me so cool man.Oh, poopie, I bet that sounded lame there.And really, I don't know what's wrong with bullpoopie. You people who think I should cuss or at least act like a quasi normal human being just need to get over yourself because I'm special.So, back to what we were talking about my story is taboo, original, and edgy. Here are some of the "edgy" things that are discussed that have never been seen in a little fan fic called My Immortal*Student/teacher relationships: Loren and I are love. We like did it in the rec room but it was totally ruined by Prince Eric who came in there and started cussing us out.*Count Chocola and vampires love for it (if I only I could have a Mercedes with the license plates with 666)*Friends that undergo radical transformations with makeovers that are from Hot Topic (Um, maybe not the Hot Topic part, but I so wish Stevie Rae would get rid of those Wranglers)*Evil teachers who hate me for no reasonSee, totally original. Totally. I am unique like a unicorn. But better because I'm Zoey Poopie Redbird. I'm not afraid to stand up to the issues and defend my friends. And yeah, I sort of talk bad about them behind their back. Like Stevie Rae, I totally agree with Aphrodite (that biotch) that she needs a makeover. But whatever.I'm still a good person.Even though that was sort of mean, blowing those two random guys in front of a truck to get ran over and then blowing it off because of happy hour at Starbucks. But they didn't die.Besides, I'm totally a caring individual. Look at how I take care of Damien. He's gay and I'm totally okay with that. I love him, even though he's characterized so stereotypically at least according to cynics. And so what if he got with the only other gay kid in school it was true love Nyx meant it be.And I so don't know why people have a beef with Nyx. She's our one true goddess. If you worship anything else your a fanatic or freak. Like my mother. I so don't understand why she sent me a Christmas card. I hate Christmas it always ruins my birthday. Bullpoopie Birthmas gifts.Whatever. So by now, you know that I'm a totally cool person and one you don't have to get drunk to have fun with. I mean, surely you can't find anything worth drinking over from what I said, right?See you in the fourth installment where I'll hopefully be reblessed and crowed the highest of the high priestess (is there like a high priestess, pope?)ZoeyYour future House of Night pontiff