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HowdyYAL

Howdy YAL!

I used to be the blogger called YAL Book Briefs, but I grew bored of the handle and changed my name to Howdy YAL. I also respond to MJ. I like to read, write, eat truffles, and watch bad Lifetime movies. 

Not So Much a Lady or Thief

Lady Thief - A.C. Gaughen

Least favorite Robin Hood ever.

 

Just going to say it.

 

And as for Maid Marian.  You think she’s wimpy  in every other incarnation well you haven’t read this book…

 

Also, in those other versions she speaks grammatically correct and not like a bad extra on Oliver.  Here speaking grammatically correct means you’re a snob.

 

Just for you guys to know, I’m sorry for sounding like  a snob.  It’s just that I got a degree in Snobbery (a.k.a.English) and that means, well, I hate grammatical errors.  Even though I know that everyone is not immune to them.

 

But for fuck’s sake, you are a noble.  Do you have to sound like some deranged Eliza Doolittle wannabe?

 

Plus, it doesn’t help when you keep acting like a dumb ass.

 

This is Maid freaking Marian we’re talking about.  I know that the character in essence is the definition of what a damsel in distress is, but at least give her some respect.  Despite the fact that she had to be rescued by Robin Hood every freaking minute, Maid Marian knew how NOT to annoy the audience like Scarlet did.

 

Heck, I think Gaughen had Scarlet get the shit beaten out of her, in part, because she annoyed her. At least that’s what I’m going to go with, otherwise I don’t know what to say about the constant beat downs Scarlet got.  Sure, she annoyed me, but I just can’t get by with having a character getting smacked to the point where she breaks a bone.  PTSD or not.

 

It also doesn’t help when said person doing the beat down is Robing freaking Hood.

Yes, Robin Hood beats the shit out of his true love because of PTSD.  And I should mention that he did this is a sleep walking like state and a girl that can apparently defend herself still breaks a freaking bone because of this.

 

This whole plot point is wrong on so many levels.

 

Let’s start with the so called abuser: Robin Hood.

 

While I’m happy that Gaughen decided that Robin was going to have some lasting effects to his trauma, the type of effects he had really annoyed me.  PTSD is a serious issue, but here it more or less seemed like a poor use of a plot device that I just couldn’t get behind.  Especially since Robing Hood beats his lady love to the point where she has a busted up face and broken hand.  That is just wrong.  And while he did show some remorse, I really just didn’t see the thing in Robin’s character.

 

Plus, Scarlet/Marian.  Really.  You stayed in the same bed with him despite knowing he could randomly wake up and beat the shit out you?

 

Have some self respect, girl.

 

It also doesn’t help that the other guy that Scarlet is involved with (her husband) beats her up too and it’s deemed perfectly acceptable in society.

 

Yes, I get this is the medieval period and yes I get women weren’t treated exactly the best in the period, but the book wasn’t following anything else correctly if we’re going to get all historical about it.  So, why should we get historical about it now?

 

See, this is the sort of thing that bothers me.

 

You know what else bothers me, the fact that Scarlet’s ogles over Gisborne’s “bits” as she calls them.  First of all, if you can stare at them you can call bits what they are: penises.  Or when Scarlet talks about her own bits vaginas.  Seriously, just calling it bits all the time makes her emotionally maturity look stunted and that’s saying something since before this little quote in the book I felt like I was dealing with a twelve year old for a protagonist.

 

As for the so called plot in this book, I just got bored to be honest.

 

It could’ve been interesting.  With characters such as Prince John, Eleanor of Aquitaine, and even Gisborne (because yes, even Gisborne could’ve been made to be an interesting character), there could’ve been a lot of interesting plots and characters to make Lady Thief a interesting second book in this series.

 

Instead, it’s your stereotypical sophomore slump of a book.

 

Not that I really thought the first book was that great.  I just loved that concept and had hoped, really hoped, that somehow Gaughen would get her groove on with this series in the second book.  Alas, that was not meant to be.

 

It’s books like Lady Thief that really put me in a bad mood.  Retellings are probably one of my favorite subgeneras in YA.  If they’re handed properly they can brilliant, if not well…they’re like this.  Just leaving me bitter just wondering how this book made Robin Hood unsexy.  I mean, even Disney’s anamorphic version was still a fox.