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Howdy YAL!

I used to be the blogger called YAL Book Briefs, but I grew bored of the handle and changed my name to Howdy YAL. I also respond to MJ. I like to read, write, eat truffles, and watch bad Lifetime movies. 

Don't Attempt to Drive After Reading This Review

Tiger's Destiny - Colleen Houck


Let’s just put it this way, if all the other books in the Tiger series are farts (and they are) would smell so bad it would probably be consider a weapon of mass destruction or at the very least get whatever building it was let in condemned.





It’s that bad.



I don’t even know why it exists to be honest.



I guess to resolve the stupid love triangle.  But with the resolution it had, Houck should’ve just went for a Cassandra Clare ending a la Clockwork Princess and we all know how much I just looooved that ending.



That’s sarcasm if you couldn’t tell.



This review is suppose to be a drinking game.  But I thought about just how am I ethically suppose to expose your liver to alcohol or if you’re from being over-hydrated (if you’re doing non-alcoholic beverages)?  I just can’t.  But I have to talk about this book and it’s horrible ever tiring love triangle, plot that doesn’t make since, mythology that is constantly shitted on, and culture stereotypes.  If I complained about that stuff again, I’d be repetitive, but then what am I suppose to talk about….Well, I guess I could discuss Tiger’s Destiny in the context of comparing it to other works out there.  Which I guess makes sense since Colleen Houck is obviously targeting any main stay tropes in the genre right now.



Trope One: The Love Triangle.



The Kelsey in love with two brothers triangle is more tiring that Bella/Edward/Jacob or any sort of repetitive love triangle that Cassandra Clare and a host of others had thrown at readers in the past few years.





Especially the resolution.  I have to say the end of this triangle might even be worse than Breaking Dawn.  And I fucking hated the end of Breaking Dawn with it’s whole Jacob turning into a pedo.



And yes, he is a pedo.  If you want to argue about it with me, fine.  Do it like an adult.  But I have own beliefs why the relationship with Jacob and Nessie is gross and was a huge mistake on Stephenie Meyer’s part but since I don’t work for Little Brown (I wish) I don’t think anyone with power gives a shit.



So, why do I think a love triangle that ended with a guy basically forcing himself to be the future mate of a demon child was much better than this book.  Well, at least there was resolution before the last five pages of the book.






Even Clockwork Princess which had one of the worst love triangles ever was more resolved than this one.



While Kelsey doesn’t get to have her cake and eat it too, she almost does.  And while one could argue that she felt loss based on her choices, not really.  She got who she wanted.  That was made perfectly clear.  And as for her loss, it was loss that was okay (and if Houck writes a fifth book, which I hear she is, I’m sure she’ll resolve that as well).





The endgame while expected, to me was disappointed.  I think the story might’ve worked better if it was the other guy.  Yes, the ending would’ve been more bittersweet, but I think the consequences would be more lasting.  Rather, the guy that lost was given as much thought as inserting a poem from the public domain into the book.



Trope Two:  The Plot












Very little substance.



Let’s be frank.  I like action.  My favorite movies are the Indiana Jones series (and it’s not just because Harrison Ford was hot way back in the day), I like the whole adventure plot.  But in the Tiger series, the action makes no sense.  And I don’t think Houck puts much effort into trying to make it work.  It’s just like one action sequence after another.  Oh, she does try to dump big little life lessons on us (but I’ll get to mocking those in a minute).



There are other action filled plots out there in the genre.  I think Marissa Meyer’s Lunar Chronicles is a perfect example of a series that’s filled with action.  But Meyer manages to make the action coherent and work with the storyline.  There’s a reason she added those scenes and it’s not just for an enormous page count.



Trope Three: Little Life Lessons



Anyone who took a high school English class knows that there’s always something deeper about the novel.  At least if you read the book the way your high school English teacher wants you to read it.



I think Colleen Houck wanted her series to be read in such a way and it just makes me laugh.



This book is no To Kill a Mockingbird or The Lord of the Flies, heck it’s not even a stupid John Green book.  The only thing literary about it is that Houck likes to take Shakespeare sonnets and Tennyson poems out of the public domain and slap them into the book to add to omnibus page count.



And really, really, who do you think reads all these sonnets and poems.



No freaking one.



Just like I didn’t listen to the so called poignant lessons about life and loss that she tried to throw in the book too.



I just couldn’t take it seriously.



Especially since every poignant scene had to be filled with pages from the public domain.



Houck, do you know how cheap that looks?



Apparently not.



But seriously, how am I suppose to mourn characters when all you want to do is throw in a completely unrelated Shakespeare sonnet.



Concluding Thoughts and New Torment:



I am glad I’m done guys.  You probably are too.  Reading this series has turned me into a whiney baby and I hate whining about books.  But God this book…this series.


The really horrifying part is that there is potential there.  A lot of potential.  India is a country that is rich in culture and mythology and with the way that Houck just disgraces it it’s really shameful.  Her view of the world reminds me a lot of this song, and if you know how I feel about this particular Disney Direct to DVD that’s not a good thing.



On that note, I guess it’s time to introduce the series that I’m going to explode my liver to next.  A lot of people like this series of three books that I’m about to read, but at the same time a lot of people have mocked it for the author’s apparent over use of stereotypes.





Yes, I’m going to attempt to read The Perfect Chemistry series again.  And let’s hope for my liver that there’s not that many mamasitas said or else I can just imagine the tequila shots I’ll be taking.




Overall rating for Tiger’s DestinyBig fat F.